My story on living with and being married to an actor and the lifestyle we live it's a 3 part story so I'll be sharing each part separately...
PART 1
How we Met & the first 10 years
I got married on Dec 31st 1990 on a tiny Island. Pelican Island off the Island of Antigua. My hubby had actually planned most of the wedding himself, which I'll explain a little later. He was in the middle of filming a movie when we were supposed to get married. The plan was to meet in Antigua. I had to get there 5 days prior to the wedding so I could file for our marriage certificate. My hubby had to be there at least 3 days prior or the marriage would not be legal.
Originally he was supposed to come with me but he had to stay behind to work, he was in the middle of filming, "Freddy's Dead the Final Nightmare". I would get a call each morning the first 2 days with him telling me that they were still filming and he was freaking out that he wouldn't be able to make it on time, which then freaked me out.
I started to panic and think,
"Omg here I am on some tiny Island out in the middle of nowhere waiting for my fiancee to come and marry me and he may not make it because he's working so there's nothing he can do he can't just leave, what's he going to do, he's going to leave me here is what I was thinking, oh my Dad will never let me live this one down he'll remind me by, saying", 'See I told you so, Actors,
unreliable'. My mind was spinning.
I was so freaked out that I broke out into a huge rash all over my body. Waiting anxiously.
The next morning, day 3, I got the call that he was on his way. I didn't know until he arrived how he worked it out. All I knew at that moment was I was getting married and I was marrying an actor, something I said I would never do.
Why never? I grew up in LA and in Beverly Hills and had seen alot from the real side of the entertainment industry. As a model I learned real quick about the actor model hookups. And I also knew I wanted to be an actress so having a relationship with a fellow actor would be out of the question. For many reasons.
Competition, insecurity, travel time away, would we ever see eachother? So actors were not on my dating list. So when I met my future husband I was, like, oh no, he's cute an all but he'll just end up breaking my heart so I'm not even going to get started.
We met at a popular club in LA. We were each there for different birthday celebrations. Our eyes locked across the room and that was it. I walked over while he was playing a round of pool and said, "Please don't think I'm crazy but I think you are my soulmate", he passed his buddy his cue stick and we talked all night and exchanged numbers shared our first kiss and said goodbye.
We dated for a few months platonically. From March to June. And on one fateful night we went a little too far and IT happened. I freaked out. I didn't want to be so easy I didn't want to put myself out there to get hurt. So I left in such hurry and was so confused. What did I just do? Why would I do that? Did Iove him? Well needless to say I ran. I ran so fast. He called the next day and the next and the next. I felt awful ignoring him, but it was better I cut it off now.
Time went by and he stopped calling. I was like ok, dodged that bullet. I would run into him every now and then at the clubs in the VIP rooms with his boys all of them a bunch of out of control young good looking party hardy actors. Every time I would see him I would do my best to avoid him. One night in late August ran into him and couldn't get away. He asked me what happened what did he do wrong. I said nothing, you did nothing. I'm just not ready for a serious relationship. I explained I had been engaged the year prior and my fiancee had cheated on me with his therapist so I was not ready for him for love or a relationship.
I didn't hear from him again until October right after I got back from Italy. He called and my bestie my roommate at the time, was like, go go out he's a nice guy, he's still calling after everything you've put him through, give him a chance. So I did we went out to The Mint and listened to some great music and totally fell in love. We got married 3 months later on NYE Dec 31st 1990.
We started planning our wedding and when we started to do the guest list and I realized how many people we were going to have to invite, I freaked out. I said I didn't want a big wedding and that if I had my way I'd get married out in the middle of the ocean. He heard me and started planning. Our friends offered to host our wedding on their island in Antigua. From there it all fell into place with my hubby making all the arrangements. It was absolutely amazing. The beautiful ocean all around us on a tiny island which happened to be named after my favorite bird, Pelican. On a gorgeous day, my feet in the sand, the steel drums playing in the background and the ocean breeze in my hair, I thought I was in a movie.
The first year was a total whirlwind. He was promoting, "Freddy's Dead" the movie he had just finished so we had to postpone our honeymoon until the following year. I was still working full time modeling/acting and working part time at an Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills. It was great time for us, he was working all the time. TV shows, commercials, films, and voiceovers. He did an interview for The Today show in San Francisco, since he was originally from the bay area, they dubbed him the next hot talent. The one to watch.
Here's just 3 articles from that time highlighting my hubby...
Right before we met he had finished filming another film, "Back to The Future ll". He was working all the time. It was such a fun prosperous time for us.
He worked on several pilots during that time as well as dozens of guest star roles on all the hot TV shows, he did a few more feature films and did dozens of national and international commercials, had recurring voiceovers and was working on his stand up comedy too. We thought as long as we kept working hard things would always be great.
We couldn't have been more wrong. At the end of the first 8 years of our marriage we had become parents, unexpectedly totally unplanned and totally unprepared. We were in over our heads all ready as new parents, and now we were also gearing up for a huge industry strike and I was going through my second career change as well since we had gotten married. There was a lot of change coming, that we did not plan for. One of those changes was my career change from modeling and acting fulltime to restaurant manager.
I stopped modeling and acting after we had been married for several years. I was done. I had been modeling since I was 12 and I was getting nowhere in my acting career no matter what I did I just couldn't book the roles I wanted. I worked I was happy but I wasn't growing as an actress. So I decided to pursue a career in fine dining. I had been working in fine dining restaurants since I was 18 part time, so I thought why not try management, we thought it was a good fit for me.
I worked hard and by the time 1997 ended I was succeeding as a manager and I was loving it. The restaurant I worked at decided they wanted to do a huge revamp and would be closing for the next year.
Everything happens for a reason. Even though I wasn't worried about taking the time off I had a nice severance and would be coming back to work after they were done. At least that's what I thought.
Little did I know I would be diagnosed with cervical cancer, beat it, end up pregnant all within the year I was off.
So when the year 2000 rolled around life was very different for us. We had a baby I was in another career transition and the industry strikes were looming.
Tamarah
"Conscious Positive Living"
to be continued....
Part ll
The Strikes and Surviving the Aftermath + My 3rd Career change & Baby #2
Part lll
Learning to Master Life on One Income and Owning the Alternative Entrepreneurial Lifestyle